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Genitals Of Jersey Shore Cast Declared ‘Herpes Nest’
Who knew there could be consequences from living a life without consequences? Who knew the thought of the Jersey Shore cast gobbling Valtrex like they were Flintstones Chewable Vitamins would be so...
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Not What You Were Looking For?
By Smaktakula We would like to believe that of the nearly 800,000 hits* Promethean Times receives daily, each is a reader who set out specifically to find us. Of course, this is sometimes not the...
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Not What You Were Looking For? Episode Three: The Search For Cock
By Smaktakula Presenting the third installment in our wildly popular series: Not What You Were Looking For? In which we list some of the search engine terms (indicated in bold) by which you found us,...
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Raves Are Best Enjoyed Without Drugs Or Love
By Smaktakula It’s hard to believe that the world has changed so much in just a year. For at least a generation, raves represented one of the last bastions of good, clean, American fun. But now...
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Reality Skank ‘Devastated’ By Nudie Pix
By Smaktakula Is There A Red-Blooded Male Out There Who HASN'T Asked Himself At Least Once, "What Would That Thing Look Like Naked?" Overpaid hussy Amber Portwood is said to be ‘devastated’ by the...
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The Magical World Of Make-Believe
By Smaktakula This Is Either Adorable Or Degrading Depending On How You Look At It. Among the time-honored rites of childhood is playing make-believe. As murderous outlaw cowboys, fairy princesses,...
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Furries
By Smaktakula It must come as a sobering realization that your life’s purpose is to outfit yourself like a junior college backup mascot. Your Mothers Must Be Very Proud.
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Depardieu’s ‘Euro-Nation’ Stunt Deemed Derivative And Unoriginal
By Smaktakula Smooth Move, Ex-Lax. Your Mère Must Be Very Proud. Bloated French nonentity Gèrard Depardieu attempted to make a splash Tuesday morning in what appears to be a copycat urination attack....
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Recalling A Simpler Time When Perverts Made House Calls
By Smaktakula Exposing Your Junk To Perfect Strangers Is A Time-Honored American Tradition. The modern world changes with such baffling rapidity that innovations in technology, fashion and language are...
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Headlines: Great Big Boobs & A Phyllis Diller Smile
By Smaktakula Back In Our Bachelor Days, We Read Certain Sections Of The Paper. *** In which we indulge both our love of talking out of our asses and our shameful laziness by commenting on the...
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